Microwaved baby

[AnimalChin]

Quote: Originally Posted by Stiffy Q: How does a real man know when a woman is satisfied? A: A real man never gives a shit.

how's your marriage

oh

[maladjusted]

Quote: Originally Posted by AnimalChin how's your marriage oh

Fuck dude it's better than mine. That hardly seems relevant when the broad in question turns out to be interested in teh sechs only as a means to an end and is really only interested in money.

Not that I give a shit.


Of course did I mention in every single thread yet that I spent the weekend fucking a chick young enough to be my daughter?

I just had to go have a soak in the hot tub because my hamstrings, glutes, and hip flexors were killing me.

Why am I telling you?

I'm telling everybody.

Oh and the best part is she just can't get enough of me and I keep saying yeah maybe I'll call you whatever.

lol.

Quote: A self-help guide that tells women to follow their man’s orders if they want to keep him has become an unlikely hit. The book, titled The Re-education Of The Female, also says women should wear sexy clothes while doing the cooking and cleaning. 'The Re-Education of the Female', by single father Dante Moore, puts the blame for women being unable to find a good man squarely where he says it belongs: 'On the female'. Stay skinny, cook, clean, wear sexy clothes, and do whatever he says because men are here to command - that is the way to catch yourself a good man, says Moore. And with chapter headings like 'Appearance, Appearance, Appearance', 'You Knew He Was a Bum When You Met Him', and 'Are You an Indirect Prostitute?' he aims to force women to re-evaluate themselves and - ahem - clean up their acts. Why does he feel such an overpowering urge to do this? Because, Moore writes in his introduction: 'I want to express my anger and frustration as a man with the women I feel are mis-educated, misinformed, and ill-prepared about their responsibilities in getting and maintaining a relationship with a man of quality.' Indeed. Moore, a computer engineer and 33-year-old father of an 11-year-old boy, insists he is doing this out of love for women. Growing up in America he only met his father a handful of times, he told the Washington Post, but was raised by his mother, two sisters, two aunts and two female cousins. When he was a boy his mother told him he had to treat a woman 'like a queen'. He tried that, he insists. For two years. And he lost every girlfriend he had. Author Dante Moore, who claims he wrote the book out of love for women Author Dante Moore, who claims he wrote the book out of love for women So, he decided, it was time for a change. 'Once I started being myself and saying, 'look, I'm not going to do this, this, or that for women,' the phone didn't stop ringing,' he said. It wasn't long before he decided to spread the wealth of his realisation. Women, he insists, make it 'much harder than it is' to get a man. He distills a man's every desire down to three basic things: food, relaxation, and, of course, sex. And all a woman has to do to fill those desires is stay skinny and sexy, cook, clean, and do whatever the man says. 'Here's a little secret, ladies,' he writes. 'Men never really ask for anything. They command.' Echoing the sentiments of Beyonce's hit single 'Irreplaceable', he adds: 'And believe me, what you won't do, ten broads around the corner will.' Size does matter, he says - very much. 'The fatter you get, the more you decrease your potential single-man pool. 'Let me give you an example. When you go to the grocery store to shop, do you pick out the nastiest-looking, most rotten, smelliest fruit or meat you can find? Oh, you don't? Why not? . . . It's the same with men when they see baby elephant-sized, out-of-shape women.'

[Stiffy]

Quote: Originally Posted by AnimalChin how's your marriage oh

Pretty goddamn spiffy actually. Yours?

Oh wait.

[AnimalChin]

Quote: Originally Posted by maladjusted Fuck dude it's better than mine. That hardly seems relevant when the broad in question turns out to be interested in teh sechs only as a means to an end and is really only interested in money. Not that I give a shit.

it was a jab at stiffy on the grounds that husbands don't usually get to have sex anymore after they get married but if stiffy's old lady still lets him bang her then right on.

Quote: Of course did I mention in every single thread yet that I spent the weekend fucking a chick young enough to be my daughter?

that is awesome but what kind of chick is into a 440 pound dude

Quote: I just had to go have a soak in the hot tub because my hamstrings, glutes, and hip flexors were killing me. Why am I telling you? I'm telling everybody.

dude, sweet.

Quote: Originally Posted by stiffy Pretty goddamn spiffy actually. Yours? Oh wait.

you're lucky or you're lying.

[Phix]

Mal, do people here really believe that your father obsessed "girlfriend" exists?

[bologna.com]

Of course we believe, WE BELIEVE IN CHANGE!

[Phix]

Quote: Originally Posted by AnimalChin that is awesome but what kind of chick is into a 440 pound dude

A 330 lbs chick.

[Phix]

Quote: Originally Posted by bologna.com Of course we believe, WE BELIEVE IN CHANGE!

YOU BETTER HOPE SO!

How come the Obamessiah doesn't speak of Hope anymore? Just Change. I guess we're hopeless.

[maladjusted]

Quote: Originally Posted by bologna.com Of course we believe, WE BELIEVE IN CHANGE!

THanks for your support, brah.

And Phix, you need to re-read that article.

Of course she exists. Women are a dime a dozen. I've been getting my cock sucked like it's made of chocolate and shoots out marshmallow creme.

[sandman]

voting: BS

[Phix]

Quote: Originally Posted by sandman voting: BS

[LordOfTheShrooms]

Quote: Originally Posted by sandman voting: BS

[maladjusted]

Voting: I don't care what you believe. Two still married guys and a retard. lol.

[sandman]

Quote: Originally Posted by bologna.com Of course we believe, WE BELIEVE IN CHANGE!

DMAMIT, we're being nickel and dime'd to death!

[sandman]

Quote: Originally Posted by bologna.com Of course we believe, WE BELIEVE IN CHANGE!

we're being nickel and dime'd to death!

[LordOfTheShrooms]

Quote: Originally Posted by maladjusted Voting: I don't care what you believe. Two still married guys and a retard. lol.

CARED ENOUGH TO TELL THE ENTIRE INTRAWEB!1

[AnimalChin]

voting: seems unlikely for very many reasons but am willing to accept and/or help perpetuate the lie in order for my friend to look better.

[LordOfTheShrooms]

Why don't you just suck his dick with his imaginary girlfriend while you're at it...

[maladjusted]

Quote: Originally Posted by LordOfTheShrooms CARED ENOUGH TO TELL THE ENTIRE INTRAWEB!1

No, that's not caring if you believe me, it's bragging.

Quote: Originally Posted by AnimalChin voting: seems unlikely for very many reasons but am willing to accept and/or help perpetuate the lie in order for my friend to look better.

Friend? lol. IH8U.

Quote: Originally Posted by LordOfTheShrooms Why don't you just suck his dick with his imaginary girlfriend while you're at it...

Shit, he may as well everybody else* is doing it.





*one chick

[LordOfTheShrooms]

I still say ss or it didn't happen.