[AnimalChin]

Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2008 1:25 PM
Subject: Fw: FW:


WOULDN'T IT BE
GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN
GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

“My
Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been
completed.



Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission
in Iraq is complete.



This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces
from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to
begin the reckoning.





Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which
have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short . The
United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of
the countries listed there.



The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's
nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies
of both lists later this evening.



Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi
war. THEN
EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT’ll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT
GO BROKE IN 20 YE ARS .




The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.



Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .



In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money
t oward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home . On that
note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt
you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.




Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .




I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France ,
Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring
from NATO as well. Bonne
chance, mez
amies.




I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN
diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking
tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed.
I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens
of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your
precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest
chop shops in the world. I love New York



A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely
to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might wa nt to try not
pissing us off for a change.



Mexico is also on List 2 its
president and his entire
corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple
extra thousand
tanks
and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em?
Yep, border security.



Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting
now. < /FONT>



We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for
oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades
to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer
you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.



It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.
Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn
tootin."



Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the
planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate
homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank
you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.



To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak
Arabic.



God bless America . Thank you and good night. R20;



If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English,
thank a soldier.




(Please forward this to at least ten friends and see what happens! Let's
get this to every USA computer!)





Climb