i have to quit drinking
 

i suck at it

i blacked out and made out with a fat girl or something.

no idea how i made it home, no idea how i got inside (someone had my keys)

i remember going to the 3rd bar feeling just fine, ordering a beer, and then i woke up in my bed.

so don't drink if you take a xanax after not eating for 3 days.

Re: i have to quit drinking
 

Never try and drink 'em pretty Shorty. That's a bad plan.

Re: i have to quit drinking
 

we were joking about chubby chasing a few days before that night and i guess a big bitch walked in the bar and i remembered our discussion and looked at my buddy and said "YEA THERE SHE IS"

i guess

Re: i have to quit drinking
 

You succeeded with bipedal navigation and did not require a giant spatula to scrape you off the sidewalk.

So you win the prize and banged a fatty. Achievement 100% :binky:

Re: i have to quit drinking
 

finally got some answers - a week later.

the bartender took me home, she said i was wasted but funny. still dont know how i got in my house, but i only got in to about 5% of the trouble i thought i got in to so thats awesome.

i guess i only made out with the random girl. i was pretty sure i didnt bang her but now i'm almost positive so thats way good too.

i'm still quitting.

ALSO: hey jim do any of your :tinfoil: sources have anything about jagermeister actually being rebranded nyquil?

Re: i have to quit drinking
 

its not the booze, its the pills. pills are bad. quit taking pills and keep drinking

Re: i have to quit drinking
 

you're not wrong here.

Re: i have to quit drinking
 

Stop drinking? Fuck that. You take away alcohol you take away one of the best legal methods of making life tolerable.

Re: i have to quit drinking
 

Pills will kill you in one night. Booze takes years.

Trust me, I'm pre med.

(not really)

Pills bad.

Re: i have to quit drinking
 

You blacked out and a bartender (female) took you home.

I am not seeing the problem

Re: i have to quit drinking
 

Exactly. ^^

The police were not even involved..sheesh

Re: i have to quit drinking
 

... not seeing a problem here...

Re: i have to quit drinking
 

:DBD:

Re: i have to quit drinking
 

Did you knock over a cripple? Tell gay jokes to gay people? Spill a beer on some chick's tits to make them sparkly? make a joke about fucking the fat girl within earshot of said fat girl who is the lead guitarists girlfriend? Drive blind ass drunk into the night?

Re: i have to quit drinking
 

That was a pretty first-rate performance...especially for the first time half those people had ever seen you.

Re: i have to quit drinking
 

Mal was trying to make an impression on something other than the pavement.

Re: i have to quit drinking
 

He made an impression on the crippled guy...and an impression on Shane. Both of them in turn made an impression on the ground when they crashed into it.

Re: i have to quit drinking
 

it drives me crazy blacking out and not having any idea what i did for the 8 hours i was awake and active and vocal in public without any sort of control over myself.

when i drink, i go full bore. i can't ever just have a beer and chill, it's none or 20. and i always black out and fuck something up.

Re: i have to quit drinking
 

I didn't count Shane toppling. That was his fault for
Sister fucking and having no balance.

Re: i have to quit drinking
 

That was tops, Mal. Dan has a cane now, the gays still laugh at you and think you're gay. I missed the sparkly tits. It was the bass player, not the guitarist. Still don't know how the fuck you got to the hotel and back in Gilbert without going to jail.

Nice show.